Friday, March 14, 2014

YES YOU CAN (Write a cd review with out the cd)

Note to reader: 
I originally, had no intentions of reviewing this cd; Or  any  cd for that matter.
Yes, I know that its true, I have done many many reviews to date.
In fact, (for those of you who are of  age to remember) way way back  in the day,  I used to do record reviews about once a week.  It was fun writing these reviews. And it was even more fun going to the bank afterwards.
    I knew that I could (usually) come away with some decent measure of profit.
A measure which helped in part to renumerate me for the many hours of toil and sweat I endured  while sitting here hunched over my dimly lit desk writing;
Not to mention the cost of the type writer.
(And of course the ink.)
But these days, I am finding, that more and more, every one just copies (& pastes) my articles, from their friends copy machine instead of actually going and getting them online at jmr.com.
   Its a shame, really.
But alas, copy machines have killed the entire review industry.
What's a writer to do?

And even if you will say to me (as many people often do) "Well ok, at least these reviews can serve as a buisiness card for you."  To that I say, "So what?" Undoubtedly, some body will still go and copy and then distribute free copies of the buisiness card!
And then there you go. We're right back to square one.
No profit.
All this, thanks to the great and powerful Xerox.
So as you can see, it is just simply no longer worth my while.
Hence the reluctance on my part to continue with any more of these reviews.
      "So  why the sudden change of heart?" you ask, as you read on further into this lengthy note.
Well, as it happened on that fine day last week, I had just purchased my new Michoel cd.
Excited as ever to listen to it, I tear off the plastic.
And then, as I look  down at the jacket, the words "YU DU KENTZT" jump out at me. (For those who like me are not so fluent in Yiddish, it means Yeshiva University, you can)
Then, when I saw the picture of Michoel breaking through the fence, I thought to myelf, Gee whiskers, if he can break through a fence, then surely I could find it in me to write a review of his cd!

And so I did...

   ....INTRODUCTION:  When was the last time a cd release needed no advertisement at all?
When was the last time a cd was released and nobody even bothered to ask "How is it"?
And  when  for that matter, was the last time we had such confidence in a singers hit producing reputation, that we just bought his latest album no questions asked?
And finally, who is the singer that refuses to be satisfied with groundbreaking, but rather aims for fence breaking?

Who indeed?

The answer of course is our favorite optimistic jolly man, Michoel Schnitzler.

Let me ask you, my dear reader, How do you describe a man who embodies the word Simcha in its totality?
How do you describe a man who brings smiles and cheer to every place he goes, with out even having to try?
The answer of course, is you don't.
He is simply indescribable.

This my friends is Michoel Schnitzler.

And should you dear reader, perhaps be so naive as to think that Reb Michoel's so unique, so gifted, and so talented, that there's no way in heavens holy grace that you could ever possibly be like him;
  well then, surprise, surprise; Because Michoel's here to tell you, YES YOU CAN.

This is the message and theme written all  over the cd (and booklet).
The idea here being that yes, you to realize your unbeleivable potential.

The over all theme of this album is
YES YOU CAN. But this is broken down further into 2 sub themes.
THEME 1.  Is about personal potential.
YES YOU CAN succeed in life.
THEME 2. Is about the importace of  keeping ads and (photo) albums (chol) out of cd jackets (kodesh).
YES YOU CAN keep them out.

REASONING and APPLICATION

THEME1: Real life application  for theme :  when you dont think you have the necessary self control to buy instead of copy you're music, than Michoel comes along with his new cd to say unequivocally, that YES YOU CAN.
THEME 2: The reasoning behind the second theme is simple.
When you mix jackets with ads, photo albums, and song lyrics , you get a big mush of a mix, which the chasidim call Yuntif Indy Vuchen.  (The holy days mixed in with the week days)
This by the way is also the  opposite of the concept of Borer.
Borer, since youre probably wondering, would be for example, when you're extracting the good (photo albums and song lyrics) from bad (ads).
Where as over here, your adding them in.
Aditionaly, this is also the concept of Ad Dlo Yada bein "Wipe out all ads & photo albums." and "Blessed is the song lyrics."
And finally  the 3rd reasoning for this is that when you mix ads and photo albums, with lyrics, you make the job of the poor reviewer for JMR (not to mention the reader of the review) exceddingly difficult. (as we shall soon see) 
The reviewer simply has not the faintest idea where the lyrics end, and where the ads start. And where the ads end,  and the photo albums start.

Note to reader (2): Unfortanately  My cd  broke before I had a chance to put it in my player.
Actually it didn't just break on its own.
What really happened was: I usually put myJacket in the wash after a long day out in the woods chopping wood (for paper to write these reviews).
Then,  I will generally will play a cd while the jacket washes. But today the wood chopping really got to me, and I think I was feeling a bit confused.
I accidentally put the cd in the wash, and I put the jacket in the cd player.
The good news is the jacket turned out fine. (pun intended) 
Comes out its a good thing it turned out fine by the way. Or rather I should say turns out its a good thing it came out fine.
Actually I think it might just be a fine thing that it came out good  and turned out fine

Because fortunately, I have recently gotten really good at listening to cds and writing reviews. So good, in fact, that I now no longer need to hear the cd to write a review. I just look at the song on the jacket and I instantly can tell you how the song probably sounds.
Thank gooodnes for jackets! (And scarves. And earmuffs. Its getting rather cold outside).

(ok. ok. Yeh. I know.. you didn't come here to read a magilla. You have purim for that.. so Its time..Lets get to the cd review already!!)

1. THE COVER:*****
The cover here starts off with kleins kosher Ice cream.  I do actually love ice cream. But you see, the thing about kleins kosh...
..wait... oh..
hold on..
oh... I'm so sorry.... ..I'm used to reading left to right... Lets start this again..

1. MICHOEL SCHNITZLER*****
This song is awesome! Unfortunately Im having trouble hearing it clearly on my cd player. But by looking at the lyrics on the jacket, I can see its a good one. We first have the Hebrew lyrics "Michoel Schnitzler" (strange, how these lyrics remind of a name of some famous Chassidish singer I think I may know)
We then have those same lyrics pronounced in English. And Then some Yiddish is thrown in. I love when they do this! Hebrew, then English, then Yiddish, all singing together! Its like this big achdus going on  between Chassidim, Litvaks and Israelis.
I think 8th day started this multi lingual lyrics shtick, by the way with Yalili.
I don't really know Yiddish so well, so we will skip these words.
Michoel then really  show us all what potential is. We don't know exactly where Michoel was holding talent wise when started off his career. But one thing we can now know for certain is that he is now breaking through metal fences.
METAL FENCES!!
I mean, for cratzmachs sake,  even the black belted chinese guy who gives me Tae Kwan Doe classes twice  a week, can't do that!
Michoel is like the Michael Jordan-er-Michael Shnitzler of Jewish music. 
In fact as a comparison, I would say its fair game to put him up there some where next to superman.
So, now there you have it folks. We are undoubtedly looking here at our first ever Jewish superheroe.
And now, with that fence breaking breakthrough of a track broken up, broken through and broken down, we now are ready to move on to track 2.

2. HARAV ZAMIR COHEN**
There's not too many lyrics in this track, which is nice. I've always said that too many lyrics can kill a otherwise good track.
I like that they got new and never used before composers.
Zamir Cohen really outcomposed himself on this track.
When I said that theres very few words by the way on this track, I meant VERY few words. Theres exactly six words in total.
The first three words (ironically enough) are  the same three words as the title of this track. " Harav Zamir Cohen." Coincidece? I think not.
Will this become the new trend; the composer making a song out of his name?? I sure as snow hope not!!
Anyways, what this track lacks in words, it more than makes up for in color and personality.
Through out this track you can actually picture Michoel smiling as he sings over and over the title and the melody "Harav Zamir Cohen". "oooohhh Harav Zamir COHEN!!" Finally we get to the second part of this song; the epic chorus.
"HARAV DUDI FARKISH!!!"
Man does Michoel get emotional here! He must really be close with this guy!
I'm not sure what it is, but something about this track is giving me a "boxy" kind of feel. Almost as if the parts are neatly  arranged into many neat boxes.Whatever.
Anyways, all in all, I would say that other than the poor lyrics this is a smash hit track that surely will blow up big on the wedding scene.
                     
3.WHEN YOU NEED A FRIEND PREFFERED IS THERE****
This track was composed by Preffered home care. Its a inspirational song about a older man walking alone down a deserted highway somewhere in the mountains. The intro starts off with a big open sky which really sets the serious mood for the rest of this track.
The open sky slowly leads us into the airy mountain rocks. The rock part quickly turns into country, as we feel the cool country air blowing through the song now. And then we have the lyrics "When you need a friend." The English lyrics are very appropriate here. Finally we get the prechorus, the sound of a man walking, and the walking man slowly fades out in to the rocking chorus. "PREFFERED IS THERE!" Wow! what a range Michoel has!! Finally in the end we have a few phone numbers thrown in. I'm not really sure what that's all about. But whatever.

4.ZAMRU LAMILKAINU*
This emotional song is composed by Michoel Schnitzler. This song has  lot of lyrics. In fact its almost ALL lyrics. Hardly any music here.
Ill be honest. This is not my favorite track on the cd.
I got lost somewhere through the first part of track. Way too many words. sorry.
I do actually like the second part though. It starts off with the words "BROCHOS VEHODAOS" being shouted out. Nice job Michoel!
Then they throw in a bunch of random names.
     WHY???
Why do they always do this thing with the names?????
    Its almost like the singer has to show off how popular he is and how many people he knows. For cholents sake! Maybe they should do away with all composers now and just open up phone books and rattle off names!!

5. CREDIT. THANK YOU NOTES*
The next track composed by Avrumi Zupnik has a great title. The meaning is simple. In life we only accomplish things thanks to significant others. Our teachers Rebbeim, Moras, grandparents, parents, friends and the catering hall.
I actually spoke about this concept at the end of my bar mitzvah speech. Incidentally, its the only part I remember.
Anyways, the meaning here really is that we have to give CREDIT and THANK YOU NOTES to all of above mentioned people for our accomplishments. And of course for the bar mitzvah pshet'l.

Then the song starts  and the lyrics are...... you guessed it names. NAMES??!!  WHY??? When willl this ugly trend in Jewish music stop already?? Enough name calling! Its almost as bad as taking random holy pesukim and making  rock songs and pop songs out of them! At least now its names.
But then it gets worse.
They throw in websites at the end of the song!!
Go figure.
I'm done with this track.
               
6. 1CHAMISHA KOLOS
CHAMISHA KOLOS**
This is a nice song. The theme is 1 and then 5 voices. Sometimes in life we hear one voice telling us to do something. Then we hear a different voice telling us to do something else. And so on. And so forth.
Soon enough we have 5 voices all together talking to us. I realy hope nobody reaches this stage. If you ever do, than I would reccommend seeking immediate psychological help.

I love the fiddle piece afterwards. Looks like we have 3 men on the fiddle here. And 2 men on the flute. Very very nice. Then we have a lot of lyrics going on. They're all nice lyrics.
   All in all a nice track.

7.  2A BRUDERUL'Z HERTZ****
This is a beautiful Yiddish song by Pinchos Mordechai Weber about the holocaust. There's a lot of Yiddish in this one.

8. 3YUNTIFFS INDERWAUCHEN****
Not sure exactly what this song is about. Too much Yiddish for me here. I know there's three yuntiff's (holidays) being discussed somewhere in this song from the title.
Additionally, we can deduce that it's a happy song, because there are three chasiddim dancing.
I would venture to guess further, each of these three chassidim represent 1 of the three Yuntiffs in the the title.
Furthermore, I would venture to say that each of these three chassidim, reppresent one of the three Rigalim. That is why they are dancing. They are being Oila Regel.

9. "YES YOU CAN"*****
The song starts off slowly, with the meaningful lyrics "Rely on us, when it comes to...
Then Michoel really gives it his all on the prechorus here "Pricing. Honesty. Service. Responsibility."
(These are all the different aspects of serving Hashem by the way)
Finally we get the smashing chorus "DRIVEWAY LEASING"
And as if thats not enough,  in case were still having any self doubts after listening to this song, Michoel leaves us his Phone number, Website, email adress, twitter account,  facebook account, home adress, and picture of him in his driveway, standing next to his car, and giving us the thumbs up sign, in the end, so we can contact him for some encouragement.
        Thanks Michoel!

                     10. YU DU KENTZT****
I love this song. Maybe that's because I love mountain climbing so much. I don't know. Michoel really reaches high on this. And the truth is if he can, you can too!

11. 5 (year old) SANDY, CANDY***
This cute song by LIPA is about Mandy who is 5 years old giving his candy to Sandy.Them Sandy gives his bike to Mandy. (Sounds like a fair exchange.) C Cute song. kind of reminds me of another song I once heard "SHE SELLS SEASHELLS."

12.  6 ROCKER FELLA'S*****
This cute song by Avrohom Yaakov Shtessel, is about 6 fellows who sing Rock and roll, meeting a Chasidish guy sitting on a park bench one day.
I didn't really understand the rest. Too much Yiddish. But, that it would seem to me is the gist of it.

13. 7 DOES (the) LAZITTA DUKINAN***
I like this song. A lot. Its very calming to my soul. Basically, its about contrast. We have 7 guys who are part of a dance group known as "7". And one day in middle of shul,  they do the new Yiddish dance known as "LAZITA DUKINAN" named after the late Mr. Dukinan, may his soul rest in peace.
The contrast to be found  here is  in the gactvthat the other guys in shul are so into their praying, and so deeply wrapped up in their prayer shawls, that they don't even notice anything going on.
I love how Michoel always manages to find these original stories which really make for interesting social commentary.
And I really also love the lyrics in the end "David Farkash is helping to protect your future well being" This really adds a lot to the extreme contrasts and the strangeness of the song.

14. 8 SAYS "GAVIN GOOT"****
This a song about a group of 8 guys who say the words "GAVIN GOOT" while their dancing.
Or actually, on second thought, it might be about a guy named Gavin Goot  who likes to say the number 8. (Although that kind of sounds like something you would read in a Dr. Suess book )
Ummm... To be honest with you, I'm not really sure the meaning behind all this.
And the Yiddish lyrics don't really help me much either. Next...

15. 9 SHIMA YISROEL'S **
By the same guy who wrote Rockefeller. Its a really nice song about a big  Tzaddik who says Shma 9 times a day.
Though the rest of the track, I can't really follow because there's just too much Yiddish for me.

16. 10 DEAR GALACTIC AMPURS******
This song is definitlely a first in Jewish music.
Its the first time ever that a Jewish album deals with the subject of attacking alien space space ships.
Until now this issue has been cinsidered  taboo and has been swept under the carpet in most  frum circles.
This song particularly is about 10 dear invading alien spaceships called Galactic Ampurs.
This track kind of got me thinking, if these invading alien space ships are really so dear to Michoel, then he must know them well.
And if this is true. that he really knows about these invading alien space ships so well, than you've got to wonder what else does he know about that we don't??
  hmmm... makes you wonder...
And finally, the real question is, what do these invading space craft have to do with the mysterious water carrier here?
     Wait....
..Maybe,  the water carrier is really Michoel, when  was younger?
Is this perhaps really all one big conspiracy going on between the space ships and the water carrier? Are perhaps all water carriers really secretly working with each other and the CIA? Are they all perhsps one big front for a big planned world take over by extraterrestrial alien forces?
  Gosh...
There are so many questions left unanswered here!!
Maybe if I knew Yiddish a bit better, I'd have all the answers to these questions.

17. 11 M.S. OPTICAL. CAN YOU SEE ME NOW?*****
That's a lengthy song title, I do say. This track is humorous and playful. And to answer the question being asked in the title, "Yes Michoel. We can see you now. Youre at 11 M.S. Optical trying on glasses. And what we also can see over here is the vast range of Michoel's playfulness, and exuberance as he tries on the various amusing assortments of eyewear. I think the glasses on the top middle picture are the best fit for Michoels awesome personality by the way.

The arrangements are a bit over the top on this track. we get all kinds of glasses on pictures of Michoels faces popping up everywhere through out the track. I usually don't complain much about things like arrangements. But you got to ask your self, do we really need this all?
  And then we have the adress and phone number thrown in randomly at the bottom. I'm sorry to say, but all these extras take away from the meat of the track. Michoels smiling face with the cool glasses.
finally were left with the one thing I liked best about this track.
Ms Optical.
The logo is simple and flows beautifully with the rest of this bizarre track. And the final lyrics "A frame for every face." Brilliance!
   
18. ZARG NEESHT R EED (raining on)11**
I honestly have no idea what this song means. I can't even figure out the meaning of the title. I'm guessing its Yiddish again.

19. DEPART in confidence ARRIVE in satisfaction.****
This song is a very deep Mussar song about our journey through this world. Ironically enough, this song is composed by Destiny Travel.
   I really  love how they end off "service to the skies".

20. BAD MEMORIES?*
The song begins with a oompah style tune playing over the words "We hide them in the blind spot"
This track was actually going pretty well until this point. But what we get next is just one big wreck. Everything about this part just doesn't go. Im sorry. it sounds like a dying engine of a sports car.
Which is why it doesn't go.
Sports cars with dying engines just don't go.
Actually, at this point I'm thinking, they should have perhaps called this song Tefilas Haderech. Maybe they would have had better luck with this track. 

  Well, ok, to be fair, at least they were  kind enough leave a phone number here on the bottom  so we can have some one to speak to about the insurance claim.
I don't know. whatever. This song is giving me whiplash.
I'm done. Next.

21. WORLD CLASS QUALITY HEALTH CARE*
This song is too long for me. Im sorry but Im going to have to skip. And anyhow, at this point I think I've already been up a whole night reviewing this random and seemingly endless album.
In fact  at this point now,  I think I may actually NEED some world class quality health care.
sorry. But I'm going to skip this track.

22. KLEINS REAL KOSHER ICE CREAM!!**********************************************************
Yes!! Finally!! I love kleins ice cream! This song is just delicious!! I really could use this song now after finally being done with this whole long Magilla of a review.
Especially since its parve, and I'm allergic to Dairy.
This by the way, was I think a very smart move by Michoel, saving the final desert for last. Yes. This song really has a lot of flavor to it.

In conclusion parts of this album were very unexpected and out of the box.Some were in fact out of their mind.
The album itself is long with 22 tracks in total, but  still it never drags. (Except for the 20th song where it drag races [and crashes]) There are no filler songs here.  And I musy say, Michoel sounds even better here, than he's ever sounded before. The songs are extremely orginal and varied. With songs about spaceships, dance groups, airports, and driveways, your'e  sure to get your moneys worth. Oh, and it also comes with a nice jacket.

p.s. Please don't play or read this jacket (or review) on shabbos, as it contains ads. Many ads.
p.p.s.You can if you would likemove the ads from the songs and photo albums, in the jacket after shabbos if you like, but preferrably not on Shabbos, as this may be a question of Borer. (And tearing.)

Disclaimer: In my booklet reading, I found many pictures thrown in amongst the lyrics. Many of these pictures are beautiful. I usually will try to stick to the song lyrics only in my review. but being that  these pictures are beautiful I will ocasionally speak about the accompanying images for each song. I originall
*writing cd review* **Michoel Schnitzler Yu Du Kentzt review**

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